How to Befriend Your Spouse


“If you can’t feed a hundred people, then just feed one.” ~ Mother Teresa

First of all, yes, those cookies ARE quite adorable. You can find the recipe and many more stunning ideas at Make Me Cake Me. What a talent to appreciate, especially for those of us with a lack of talent in that particular direction. I can cook and bake, but my creations lack that cuteness factor. Sigh.

Now then, back to our show…

Many of you might think a blog post about befriending someone you live with, seeing day in and day out, sharing everything with from money to a toilet seat, is kind-of ridiculous. Now, hold on there, not so fast. Being married is unfortunately NOT always the same thing as being friends. Who has time for friends anyway? It’s a rough world. We’re all just holding on my our fingernails here. Who has time for friendship with their spouse, let alone anything as far-fetched as romance.

There, there, no one is here to judge. We’re all walking in the same forest here. Sometimes all of us get a little lost. No biggie. There is always Someone who not only has a map, but IS the map. God is always waiting for us to turn to him when we feel like we’re stuck in molasses swamp, or worse, headed for a cliff. All of us can get out of whack when it comes to the way we relate to those around us. Nowhere is this more painfully apparent that in our close relationships. When we get out of whack, or spouses feel it the strongest. Sometimes, as we drift away from relationships, stressed beyond comfortable by our own choices (ahem), our spouses may seem like strangers invading our space instead of trusted friends and lovers as they are meant to be.

To tell you the truth, sometimes, it’s just not happening. Sometimes, we see the slack-jawed, drooling, morning breath having face next to us by the harsh grey light of morning as we are serenaded by our alarm clock buzzer and think “Ugh not you again! ”  He snores, or she does. (I actually do the loudest snoring in my house. Groan) He leaves the seat up. She never fixes what I like for dinner. Why does he always hang out with that friend? Why is she so messy? On it goes. The quirks become bones of contention that choke the life right out of our marriages.

What, then, is the answer? How do we get ourselves back on track so we can enjoy the kind of home life that’s better than any romance movie can offer? We need LOVE, in steady, un-relenting, persevering, forgiving, gracious, my-cup-runneth-over doses. How do we do this realistically when there are soooo many sources of bad advice in book, internet, and real live person form? Advice can run from the manipulative, where we figure out how to trick our spouse into giving us what we think we want; to the doormat approach, where we let them do as they please, never confronting in love or expecting to be treated with respect; to the bullying our spouse into doing as WE please; to the two separate lives in one house approach. All of these methods will lead us down the path to a fulfilling alienation, separation, and death of our marriages, whether or not it actually ends in divorce.

The answer for this lack of ability to achieve a thrilling, fulfilling, lasting love that all of us long for is to turn our attention back to the One who created our hearts in this shape in the first place. God is Love. 1 Corinthians 13, tells us what, exactly this means.

“IF I [can] speak in the tongues of men and [even] of angels, but have not love (that reasoning, intentional, spiritual devotion such as is inspired by God’s love for and in us), I am only a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), and understand all the secret truths and mysteries and possess all knowledge, and if I have [sufficient] faith so that I can remove mountains, but have not love (God’s love in me) I am nothing (a useless nobody).
Even if I dole out all that I have [to the poor in providing] food, and if I surrender my body to be burned or in order that I may glory, but have not love (God’s love in me), I gain nothing.
Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily.
It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way,for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong].
It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail.
Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening].
Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end]. As for prophecy (the gift of interpreting the divine will and purpose), it will be fulfilled and pass away; as for tongues, they will be destroyed and cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away [it will lose its value and be superseded by truth].
For our knowledge is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect), and our prophecy (our teaching) is fragmentary (incomplete and imperfect).
But when the complete and perfect (total) comes, the incomplete and imperfect will vanish away (become antiquated, void, and superseded).
When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; now that I have become a man, I am done with childish ways and have put them aside.
For now we are looking in a mirror that gives only a dim (blurred) reflection [of reality as in a riddle or enigma], but then [when perfection comes] we shall see in reality and face to face! Now I know in part (imperfectly), but then I shall know and understand fully and clearly, even in the same manner as I have been fully and clearly known and understood [by God]. And so faith, hope, love abide [faith–conviction and belief respecting man’s relation to God and divine things; hope–joyful and confident expectation of eternal salvation; love–true affection for God and man, growing out of God’s love for and in us], these three; but the greatest of these is love.” ~ 1 Corinthians 13 (entire chapter) Amplified
So, for those of us who missed it the first hundred thousand or so times you’ve heard this often misquoted passage quoted or seen it, embroidered on pillows, printed on posters, etc, etc, this passage tells us about God. I recently learned this for the first time myself. Think about that for a moment. Who wouldn’t do just about anything for someone who treated them this way, right? WOW! For my part, I felt very silly for not realizing this passage was about God all along. I thought it was like that infamous Proverbs 31 woman, who’s list of amazing and unimpeachable qualities has been used improperly to beat women over the head for a long time. (It’s not about that at all though, but that’s a topic for another blog post. 🙂 )
I hope one day, when I walk those golden streets in heaven I will finally be able to grasp the amazing scope of the tapestry of the Bible and how it all ties together and points to God, even in its most inscrutable (to me) passages.  Here’s another passage which, surprisingly to me, ties in with 1 Corinthians 13 perfectly. (You can read the entire chapter here.)
“Now the doings (practices) of the flesh are clear (obvious): they are immorality, impurity, indecency,
Idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger (ill temper), selfishness, divisions (dissensions), party spirit (factions, sects with peculiar opinions, heresies),
Envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you beforehand, just as I did previously, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God.
But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,
Gentleness (meekness, humility), self-control (self-restraint, continence). Against such things there is no law [that can bring a charge].
And those who belong to Christ Jesus (the Messiah) have crucified the flesh (the godless human nature) with its passions and appetites and desires.
If we live by the [Holy] Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. [If by the Holy Spirit we have our life in God, let us go forward walking in line, our conduct controlled by the Spirit.]
Let us not become vainglorious and self-conceited, competitive and challenging and provoking and irritating to one another, envying and being jealous of one another.” ~ Galatians 5:19-26
Originally, as this post was coming together, I had only thought as far as the “fruits of the spirit” bit of that passage. Just now as I was looking at it though, it occurs to me that that long list of nastiness before and after the “fruity” part is, unfortunately, what many of us bring to the banqueting table, instead. How many of us, from time to time, have felt our spouse was our enemy or rival instead of best friend and ally? The bad news is that we all have a past full of misinformation, bias, prejudice, hidden agendas, scheming, hurt, betrayal, and on it goes. We didn’t have the extreme advantage of Adam and Eve in the garden: fresh, clean-states, fully able to love with no past or guilt to get in the way. Fast-forward to now, we are further from God’s original design in our hearts than we are from our first ancestors in time. Look again at that passage! Therein lies the answer and help we all so desperately need.
“And those who belong to Christ Jesus (the Messiah) have crucified the flesh (the godless human nature) with its passions and appetites and desires.
If we live by the [Holy] Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. [If by the Holy Spirit we have our life in God, let us go forward walking in line, our conduct controlled by the Spirit.]” ~ Galatians 5:24-25 Amplified
The answer for all of us is Jesus Christ himself! God made us, and He made us to be with other people. He made us to be in pairs, families, communities. God made us for relationships. Jesus Christ came to redeem not only our souls, but also reconcile us to God and one another.
“There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
“For whom am I toiling,” he asked,
“and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?”
This too is meaningless—
a miserable business!
 
Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” ~ Ecclesiastes 4:8-12 NIV
Advertisements

So Cold It Hurts (Part 2) | My Blog, aka, Sorry My Mind Must Have Wandered


So Cold It Hurts (Part 2) | My Blog, aka, Sorry My Mind Must Have Wandered.

So Cold It Hurts (Part 2)


“Grief is the price we pay for love” ~ Elizabeth II (Queen of the United Kingdom, b.1926)

 

Once upon a time, there was a king. (You can read about him here.) Needless to say, he was not a good king. He was petty, unstable, and too heinously jealous to share his kingdom. A king in this time period had a lot of power, almost godlike. If you caught the disfavor of this king, it was often best to run and hide. Even a baby might be at risk from a king like this. In fact, many were, even his own sons were not safe from this king. Power in the hands of evil men and women is a fearful thing.

The name of Herod the Great has gone down infamously in history, like many before and after him. In the face of such overwhelming evil, sometimes it seems as if there is no hope, not even a hope of hope; but God always gets the last word. In the midst of the darkness and fear that characterized Herod’s reign, a tiny germ of hope was planted in the womb of a girl named Mary. This hope was greater than the darkness and evil of King Herod, because this hope had always been, from the beginning. This hope came before any man’s envy or malice or lust or pride. This hope was brighter than any man’s grief or suffering or hardship or humiliation or depression. This hope was everything. This hope was the world’s salvation.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” ~ John 1:1-5 NIV

I read a post on Facebook some time back from the Christian speaker Christine Caine that talked about overcoming discouragement, fear, worry, etc, by remembering (or perhaps realizing for the first time) that the power of God’s word is bigger still. Herod the Great could not stop God’s promise from being fulfilled. Herod Antipas (Herod the Great’s son) could not stop the fulfillment of Jesus Christ’s purpose, or defile it in any way. This was very encouraging to me.

I, for one, had a really aggravating end of 2014. As the time drew near for “Deck the Halls”, decking a human was looking more and more attractive. I am not overly fond of “Christmastime”….as in Martha Stewart, a gift for everyone, perfect house, have-to, need-to, shoulds. Christmas, as in the celebration of the birth of Christ I’m all about, don’t misunderstand. I also find that my children tend to test the flexibility of not only Santa’s naughty list but also my patience and love for them. The closer we get to December, the more the tempers flare, the mouths get mouthy, the chores are left undone, please and thank you are forgotten, and naturally, our bank account gets lower and lower. On years like this one, Christmas-ing is a sacrifice. I’m sure other parents can relate.

As things usually go, when your life is difficult, something will usually come along with a little sting to really grind home the point that you are not measuring up in one way or another. Whether it’s your family, friends, current or former classmates, co-workers, neighbors, housemates, or what have you, there will be friction between people of various kinds. Add to all of that the deaths, missed opportunities, regrets, and the rest of life’s sorrows, so much more poignant at the end of the year. The sharp edges in our lives often become most apparent at Christmastime. It’s not about that though…

“The true light that gives light to everyone was coming into the world. He was in the world, and though the world was made through him, the world did not recognize him. He came to that which was his own, but his own did not receive him. Yet to all who did receive him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband’s will, but born of God. The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” ~ John 1:9-14

————————-

So here we are in 2015…..sound of crickets. Yeah I have many of the same stresses as last year, some added, some taken away. It’s been months since I blogged, or worked on my story, or did any graphic design, or felt really inspired, or victorious, or joyful…Yes, this on again off again people person with a sunny outlook and Pollyanna-esque attitude has been in some serious doldrums socially, spiritually, familialy, personally…..you get the drift. Then in the midst of all of that, my beloved compy took a permanent trip to that lost pile of hardware in the sky. I kept thinking there would be a jolt of happiness, or joy, or love, or SOMETHING, but day after day I drifted, having cut myself off from all my friends in some crazed plan to hide myself from anyone that could hurt my feelings or judge me….I felt God to be distant, though it was never true. One day as I was yet again using my hubby’s compy and our tax return was miles away, something struck me and it was this:

This struggle that we face as Christians, or even just HUMANS, isn’t always glorious, victorious, comedy, tragedy, or even noteworthy; BUT it is our personal decision that every day we will try; every time we fall, we will rise; every failing meets with an attitude of I can be better! It isn’t hard to fight when you have a visible, obvious threat. But when we are feeling apathetic, forgotten, pointless, helpless, hopeless, friendless….our fight is with ourselves. It is then our duty to move forward because it is the right thing to do. God is never too far away. He is always waiting, peering down the road waiting for his child to come home, to involve him, to walk beside him. Now, this blog post is not meant to be about me, specifically, I just thought I would share a bit of my own struggles for a moment, because none of us are ever alone in this, even when we feel that way. ❤ Let’s get back into it now, shall we? 🙂

 

————————–

Sometimes, the big bad stuff in our lives seems soooo big and bad that we get the impression that there is no hope. Many early Christians must have felt this way with the overarching power so many of the rulers of the day held over their lives. Many things we face in today’s world can feel pointless and overwhelming. Thankfully, when we are able to lift our heads during a rare ceasefire, we can see that the Bible is full of examples of people in all walks of life who faced impossible, ending, embarrassing, threatening, and damning situations. These circumstances felt too big, too difficult; but then the wall crumbled, the whale spat them out, the sun rose, the enemy fled, the stones never flew, and the grave was empty. God showed up, and their lives were better than saved. They were changed.

John the Baptist paid the ultimate price and won the ultimate reward. Herod had him killed, but Herod didn’t defeat him. The picture at the beginning of this post of a silver platter is meant to remind us of John. It is also meant to point to not only John’s victory, but the final victory of Christ after the empty cross. Sin and death has it’s time, just as every dog has it’s day. The final word belongs to God. Maybe, during this time of Lent, when many around the world lay down their comfortable routine in remembrance of that long ago sacrifice, it would be good for all of us to take a moment and reflect on the gift of an empty cross, and the hope it represents for each man, woman, and child alive today. No matter the filth, the darkness, the hate, the prejudice, the fear, the POWERFUL love of Christ can lift us out of any pit.

 

“Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.” Revelation 22:1-5 NIV

Ebenezer Scrooge : A Case Study


“I wear the chain I forged in life,” replied the Ghost. “I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it. Is its pattern strange to you?”
Scrooge trembled more and more.
“Or would you know,” pursued the Ghost, “the weight and length of the strong coil you bear yourself? It was full as heavy and as long as this, seven Christmas Eves ago. You have laboured on it since. It is a ponderous chain!” ~ Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

 

In my mind, A Christmas Carol is a story of redemption. No, it is not the story behind Christmas. It cannot save your soul, only Jesus Christ can do that. (Just ask him.)

Nonetheless, I return to the message of this story time after time. I have four versions that I watch over and over again well into January when the kids start to complain. Maybe they will appreciate it more when they have lived long enough to experience the Scrooge and Cratchit dynamic a bit more themselves. But I digress…

The life’s details of every human who fades in and eventually out of this life is made up of choices. Our own choices, other people’s choices….these all shape our experiences for good or ill during our time here. In A Christmas Carol, Scrooge’s life is also made of choices which he makes in response to the priorities he puts on different “assets”. Money he regards more highly than pretty much everything including love, friendship, family, and even his own personal comfort.

Habitually, Scrooge shuts himself off from the rest of humanity as he doggedly pursues his goal of amassing more and more wealth. Huddled into himself, thinking only of himself, he is brought face to face with the consequences he has chosen to ignore his whole life. In his search to find wealth, security, independence, he has lost everything.

All along the way, his life has had an unexpected impact. His influence, he learns, is greater than he supposes. His reach is considerable, as is his reputation. For one man to possess so much and yet do so little good with it for anyone including himself is unforgivable. The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come presents Scrooge with a terrible opportunity to hear the way people talk about him after he has died. He is reviled, disrespected, hated, and universally abused. No one mourns him. No one misses him. He ends his miserly life in disgrace and ill-favor. How sad! How wasteful! How needless!

How nonetheless true of so many like him! However, as the story goes, Scrooge has his eyes opened the night the spirits visited him. The light of the truth of what he was as well as what he could be dawned upon him with utter clarity. His story is a powerful reminder to us all that we have a hope for change as long as we have life in our bodies.

“Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did not die, he was a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was quite enough for him.

He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, God Bless Us, Every One!” ~  Charles Dickens, A Christmas Carol

A deeper, eternal change can be wrought in a heart where the true Light of the Season, namely, Jesus Christ resides. The coming of the infant Christ paved the way for the Light which came into a world that did not want it. The world has been pushing against the Light ever since. Hurting, we reject our Healer. Lonely, we reject our Friend. Dying, we reject the Risen One. Utterly helpless, we reject our Helper. Hopefully, even this moment can be an opportunity for change. This season of remembrance of Christ’s birth can be for someone a dawn of life lived for Christ’s sake! All that is necessary is for you to open the door to Jesus.  Only His continual presence in your life can teach you the true meaning of life as well as the purpose of Christmas itself. What would Jesus do? Jesus would love your fellow man, through you!

 

 “So get rid of all uncleanness and the rampant outgrowth of wickedness, and in a humble (gentle, modest) spirit receive and welcome the Word which implanted and rooted [in your hearts] contains the power to save your souls.

But be doers of the Word [obey the message], and not merely listeners to it, betraying yourselves [into deception by reasoning contrary to the Truth].
For if anyone only listens to the Word without obeying it and being a doer of it, he is like a man who looks carefully at his [own] natural face in a mirror;
For he thoughtfully observes himself, and then goes off and promptly forgets what he was like.
But he who looks carefully into the faultless law, the [law] of liberty, and is faithful to it and perseveres in looking into it, being not a heedless listener who forgets but an active doer [who obeys], he shall be blessed in his doing (his life of obedience).
If anyone thinks himself to be religious (piously observant of the external duties of his faith) and does not bridle his tongue but deludes his own heart, this person’s religious service is worthless (futile, barren).
External religious worship [religion as it is expressed in outward acts] that is pure and unblemished in the sight of God the Father is this: to visit and help and care for the orphans and widows in their affliction and need, and to keep oneself unspotted and uncontaminated from the world.” ~ James 1:19-28

So Cold It Hurts (Part 1)


“How can you expect a man who’s warm to understand one who’s cold?” ~ Alexander Solzhenitsyn (Russian novelist, Nobel Prize for Literature (1970), b.1918)

‘Tis the season to give to charity, celebrate, be festive, give gifts, dress to impress, overspend,  and feel good about ourselves. No? Well, what do YOU see when you look around at your fellow man in December? What do you and I see when we look in the mirror? Thanksgiving was less than a month ago. The day after we sit down to give thanks, we rise up early the next day with greed and animosity to fight tooth and nail on Black Friday. Thus begins the tender and reverent celebration of the birth of Baby Jesus. But wait, there’s more…

December is the last month of the year, so when we pursue all this stuff, this window dressing, cake frosting, twinkle light decorated stuff, as beautiful and wonderful as it is and can be, we are ending the year on a false note. For many people, Christmas has become yet another thing to pay off and feel stressed about next year. Utility bills are higher, food bills are even more so, and  while there’s nothing wrong with celebrating with our friends and loved ones, we are missing the elusive “Spirit” of Christmas. Bigger than the biggest Christmas blowout, grander than the holiday buffet at a casino, brighter than the lights on your town’s most lit-up neighborhoods’ houses (the houses, not the neighbors), the Glory of Christmas stands alone: precious, pure, loving, enormous, and shocking.

Many of you are parents. I have several children myself and they are dear to me. I would protect them with my life, at the cost of my life savings (HAHA, raising a large family doesn’t easily allow for savings), at the cost of my health, my sanity, or my reputation. Knowing this, and knowing that so many parents feel the same, good parents mind you, it is unthinkable that we even have a reason to celebrate in December at all. I would not have given up my precious children to an amazing, loving family, no matter how wonderful they were. They are My Precious! MINE! I cannot imagine giving them to someone amazing, BUT God gave His ONLY child who is strangely part of himself as well to a rabid, desperate, cruel, thoughtless, selfish, depraved, abusive, unfaithful, greedy, hateful world. True, he picked some wonderful parents in Mary and Joseph; but you can’t hide at home forever. On top of it all, Jesus’ life path led purposely to a horrible death on a cross. He lived a hard, lonely life, and without the aid of an angel bodyguard. He stepped where we step. He ate what we eat. Sometimes he went hungry. Sometimes he was cold. Sometimes he felt stressed and over-tired and underappreciated.

Jesus was the most underappreciated person who ever lived.  It’s not that no one appreciates Him, but He is the Savior of the whole world; and even the most devout have only a sliver of an understanding of the amassed depth and sacrifice of this first Gift of the Season. Our cold hearts just don’t get it. It is a gift of pure Grace every time another piece becomes clear to us. It’s not like we seek to understand often. Like the huddled forgotten who line our streets and alleyways, we turn away as we rush to our comfortable “zone”. In many ways, each of us could star in A Christmas Carol as Scrooge. We are all struggling with past hurts, sorrow, regret, possibly financially. This is a hard time of year to be hard up. My own family has been eating a lot of beans lately….a LOT of beans. (Pardon me)

Yet at the same time, we are so wealthy with the lavish gift of free will we each possess. Each of us can make a huge difference in the lives of those around us for good or ill. I see the news stories that break my heart of a child who was hurt and then grew up to hurt another child and on it goes. A cycle of goodness also repeats. My dad tells often of his own father who was faithful to whatever he deemed his duty. He was on time or early everywhere he went. He didn’t call in sick, he didn’t make excuses. He just did what he believed was right. That made an impression on my dad. He is the most steadfast person I know to this day. As a child who was adopted later in my growing up time, I didn’t have the full lifetime of exposure to this hard to come by trait. I am often late, for one thing. I do admire this dependability, though. It just seems like such a reach. (I think of my dad like I would a superhero, possessing abilities I do not have.) I am glad, though, that when my arm is too short, my legs tired of climbing, when I feel like I just don’t make the grade, steep as it is, the Hand of Grace reaches down to bridge the gap. 

The wonder of Christmas is about faithfulness. God had been hinting and pointing and nudging and promising the Messiah for a long time, to get us ready when He came. This was a time of great learning, mankind was not a bunch of cavemen beating rocks together. We had no excuse; but our hearts were cold, and most people missed it. For pete’s sake there was a HUGE new star in the sky and we were so wrapped up in ourselves that we missed the birth of our Savior! Jesus was the answer for their questions. He was the balm for their hurts. He was the Friend for the lonely and forgotten. But the issues of day to day living were too big in the eyes of the world then. Today, we are no different. Perhaps if we remember a present for everyone on our list we will be filled with that elusive Christmas joy. Maybe if we attend every single community sing and Pops orchestra program, or at least catch them on TV, we will experience the wonder. Maybe if our house is covered in lights… We go broke. Our feet ache. We ache with mourning and loss. The Holiday have-tos bear down on us and the TV and radio and internet are all bursting with the message of give, give, give…..but give STUFF!! No wonder our hearts are so cold. We can’t warm ourselves with things. A mountain of gifts will not make anyone feel less lonely, or more-loved. Of course, we all enjoy receiving presents, but this is not the point. Our hearts are still cold. (To be continued…)

 “Because you say, “I am rich, and have become wealthy, and have need of nothing,” and you do not know that you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked, I advise you to buy from Me gold refined by fire so that you may become rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself, and that the shame of your nakedness will not be revealed; and eye salve to anoint your eyes so that you may see. ‘Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline; therefore be zealous and repent. ‘Behold, I stand at the door and knock; if anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and will dine with him, and he with Me. ‘He who overcomes, I will grant to him to sit down with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. ‘He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” ~ Revelation 3:17-22 NIV

 

God bless us, everyone.


A Christmas Carol is often in my thoughts, and on my TV at this time of year. This particular version is my favorite as well. Stay tuned for more thoughts inspired by this classic song…

jonathan powers

 

Since a child, my favorite Christmas movie has been the 1984 made-for-TV version of A Christmas Carol starring George C. Scott as the role of Ebenezer Scrooge. There is a song that was written specifically for the movie, reflecting upon many of the themes addressed within the original story by Charles Dickens. The song never found much popularity outside of the film, but I believe its words are poignant and convicting. As I read them this morning, they brought me to tears. The challenge of the words remain appropriate to us today, even as they were to Scrooge in his day. 

God Bless Us Everyone
(Music by Nick Bicat, lyrics by Tony Bicat)
 
The past of man is cold as ice:
He would not mend his ways.
He strove for silver in his heart
And gold in all his days.
His reason weak, his anger sharp,
And sorrow…

View original post 186 more words

Run On Your Face


“Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.” – Inscription on the James Farley Post Office in New York City

Sometimes in a race, the glorious competitors have inglorious moments. Sometimes the supreme athletes trip and fall. Olympians have bad days too; but what sets a champion apart from every other athlete? Maybe those who win aren’t the most talented or the brightest stars in the sky (take that however you like and you will surely be right). Maybe a winner is simply the one who keeps going? Maybe the champion gets up again, even if he/she has to hobble the rest of the way? Maybe sometimes a race is won by crawling the last stretch. Possibly you can only win if you choose to crawl the last bit. Sometimes, all we can do is crawl, barely moving, injured, heartbroken, weeping, bleeding, shattered both physically and mentally. Help is near, and relief is in sight; but not just yet……not just yet… Right now, it seems too cruel that you would be expected to get up with your hurts so fresh, your humiliation so current, your failure so complete. I have faced this situation numerous times, naturally; we all do, and have, and will. One time, in particular, comes to mind, when I was 22.

I was in the middle of my marriage falling apart, outnumbered and out-gunned by my in-laws on every side. I was a confused, whimpering, cowardly, cringing, craven mess! I was used to someone else taking care of things. I had a toddler to think about; and I wanted someone to just FIX IT. My ex has mental issues that blew us all out of the water right around the time of my birthday. His poor family didn’t know what to do either. At one point our frequent marital spats were blamed, at another point, I was. However, writing truthfully about past hurts is difficult. Honesty doesn’t always allow us to remain solely the victim, good, well-intentioned, and put-upon. Looking back, I know that I was not to blame for the abuse or the mental breakdown. There was a history of “off-ness”. I didn’t always help with my own choices and attitude, though. One thing became apparent over the several years I dealt with my ex’s mental fluctuations: the mind is a mystery even in this day and age. How much of a person’s behavior is choice, or hormones, or mental imbalance? How much of our wits are a result of past choices and their consequences? This is not going to be a post about mental illness. (I am absolutely not qualified to write that post. I am absolutely qualified to tell you about what I went through, however, so I will.)

The particular incident I wanted to relate was a quite memorable encounter with my brother-in-law, whom I was staying with at the time. He and his wife took me and my toddler into their home. There is always a lot of friction when someone does this. The negative bits of everyone’s personalities often “outshine” the positives because of the inevitable stress of living with someone else who is unfamiliar and doesn’t have the same priorities or worries as everyone else. I recall sleeping a lot, which did not endear me to my in-laws, let me tell you. I was depressed (did I mention my toddler and I were newly released from a battered women’s shelter?), and I was also newly pregnant. I suspected at the time, but felt so overwhelmed already that I was avoiding actually dealing with the possibility. The queasiness coupled with the stress of the situation took 15 lbs off of my weight. I don’t recommend using that particular diet plan, to be honest. 🙂

One day, tired of my complaining and crying, and no doubt longing for his home to be his own again, he confronted me. He laid out some steps I should take to start picking up the pieces of my life and take care of my daughter. I continued to whine and cry and bemoan my fate, when finally he lost patience with me and threw away the paper he had been writing on for me. He basically said “Fine then, don’t listen to me! I’m done trying to help you!” Well, it hurt a lot, and for a moment I decided he was just a hateful person and didn’t understand why none of it was my fault, and the constantly rehearsed stream of why-mes started up in my head….BUT suddenly, I realized that I didn’t have to like what he was saying for it to be right. I realized I had no other options and that he WAS actually taking his time to try and help me. Even after I had this begin to dawn on me, it was actually physically painful for me to get up, go to the garbage, take out the paper, and walk back to him and ask me to help me. My shredded pride was a tough thing to choke back while I was still so hurt and angry. My wounded emotions screamed as I did it, BUT I DID IT ANYWAY.

No, of course, there were a lot of rocky patches as I used my own wobbly decision-making abilities and determination to struggle up the long hill toward self-sufficiency. Many nights I cried myself to sleep, and it was several years before I could finally break free from my rocky marriage; but it was a start. I faced down my own pride and hurt feelings more times than I care to remember, and still do, and will, gosh darn it, though I hate to even type that!

Sometimes, moving forward means we can’t just sit forever in one cushy hospital bed, or hidey hole, or friend’s house, or relative’s home and nurse your wounds forever. Sooner or later, we must all stand back up, even if we have to crawl for awhile first. Crawl, if you must. Weep if you must. Fear if you feel fear, but do not ever give in!

“You whom I [the Lord] have taken from the ends of the earth and have called from the corners of it, and said to you, You are My servant—I have chosen you and not cast you off [even though you are exiled].

Fear not [there is nothing to fear], for I am with you; do not look around you in terror and be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen and harden you to difficulties, yes, I will help you; yes, I will hold you up and retain you with My [victorious] right hand of rightness and justice.

Behold, all they who are enraged and inflamed against you shall be put to shame and confounded; they who strive against you shall be as nothing and shall perish.

You shall seek those who contend with you but shall not find them; they who war against you shall be as nothing, as nothing at all.

For I the Lord your God hold your right hand; I am the Lord, Who says to you, Fear not; I will help you!” ~ Isaiah 41:9-13 Amplified Version

It Is Well…


When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,

It is well, it is well with my soul. – It Is Well with My Soul, hymn written by Horatio G. Spafford, 1873

 

I feel for you. Maybe your day is going a direction you didn’t plan for, or you are feeling the dull thud of disappointment inside right now. I feel for you. Let me give you a little background… Today started off quite well. It’s my husband’s birthday. He’s sleeping in because he works at night. The older kids are off to school. The 2 little ones and I are enjoying a peaceful morning…but then…

The 4 yr old started calling in that tattle-tale tone “Mooooooommyyyyyyyyy! Look what the baby did!” I look up from my coffee. It’s not pretty. The baby has thrown her breakfast over the floor. Did I mention I fed my kids sweet rice with cinnamon, sugar and milk? Yeah, it’s not pretty.(Did I seriously expect something different? Come on it’s a toddler with a bowl of potential nasty-mess.) We shall be referring to this in the future as Rice-Pocalypse. Then, after I am just getting over my pity party for that, I decide I would treat myself to a bathroom break and getting dressed in daytime clothes before the kids get home from school. I think indulgent thoughts sometimes. I get the occasional wild hair. Well, you can stop shaking your head because I was appropriately humbled and chastened. When I returned to the living room, feeling quite accomplished and ready for whatever the day might bring, my toddler one-upped me yet again. My desk, you see, is a staging area for all kinds of wonderful things. Usually, I will admit, it is a class action MESS! I recently cleaned it. BUT my precious notebook with tenderly scribbled notes for a pet children’s story lay open precariously close to my cup of warmed-over coffee, as did my keyboard, mouse, and speakers.

Sometimes, I like to take a little trip back in time to the moment before something truly terrible happened and live for a blissful moment in the ignorance and innocence of that moment. However, as I faced the sweet, brown puddle that was growing on my desk, seeping into every nook and cranny and POURING out of my keyboard when I turned it at an angle, I came to a hard realization. All the heel-clicking, no-place-like-home wishing, time travel to the time of Morlocks and Eloi, or plugging my ears and saying “lalalalalalala” would help me. I don’t know if it was the coffee in the keyboard or the growing stain of it soaking into my precious story, but something inside of me sprang a leak and it started to trickle out of the corners of my eyes as I tried to sop up the mess. Again, I felt sorry for myself. Again, I grudgingly admitted that this could have been prevented. The crush of disappointment for the day I hoped for was heavy on my chest. I did a stand-up impression of Eeyore for a few minutes. But then, words gradually came into my mind that I have heard a million times at church and funeral services: “It is well, with my soul.” 

It is often ridiculous to me when the “peace that passes all understanding” comes my way in insane situations. While I was cleaning up the soul-sucking coffee spill, my kids were fighting with the door of the movie cabinet and the toddler was asking for food, when her breakfast had only just been distributed across the floor, mind you. All of the above was done at high decibels, I might add. Still, I felt the words “It is well, with my soul.” God really has a quirky sense of humor sometimes I think. Naturally, I tried very hard to remember if I’ve prayed for any kind of personal character growth and maturity for myself lately. I always have a very fuzzy memory when it comes to things I decide to do that will be good for me.

So, in spite of the hurricane that blew through my morning, much of which I could have prevented myself, I find that it IS well with my soul. He’s got my whole mess in His hands. He will never leave me or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6), even in the middle of a fit. He’s not going anywhere, and he can get me through anything I face, whether it is a serious tragedy or just the day to day million straws that break the camel’s back kind of days. In the words of one of my very favorite preachers, I had to get on with it already. I cleaned up the mess and shut down my computer because my keyboard may be headed for that ever-growing pile of electronics in the sky and wouldn’t work a lick. I also put My-Lady-mess-a-lot down for a blessed, blessed nap. Now I’m typing this on hubby’s computer and enjoying a bit of respite as I am reminded that God’s got this. The world continues to spin and my life with it. Time to put on the big girl panties and be thankful.

God is, nonetheless, very, very good.

Psalm 146

Praise the Lord.[a]

Praise the Lord, my soul.

I will praise the Lord all my life;
    I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.
Do not put your trust in princes,
    in human beings, who cannot save.
When their spirit departs, they return to the ground;
    on that very day their plans come to nothing.
Blessed are those whose help is the God of Jacob,
    whose hope is in the Lord their God.

He is the Maker of heaven and earth,
    the sea, and everything in them—
    he remains faithful forever.
He upholds the cause of the oppressed
    and gives food to the hungry.
The Lord sets prisoners free,
    the Lord gives sight to the blind,
the Lord lifts up those who are bowed down,
    the Lord loves the righteous.
The Lord watches over the foreigner
    and sustains the fatherless and the widow,
    but he frustrates the ways of the wicked.

10 The Lord reigns forever,
    your God, O Zion, for all generations.

Praise the Lord.

Are You Blowing Off More Than Steam?


Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” ~ St. Francis of Assisi

“Impossible! That will never work for me! I could try that, but it would never make a difference! You don’t know my situation. You don’t know my wife. You don’t know my husband. You don’t know my sister, boss, brother, mother, father, friend, neighbor, co-worker……” Have you ever said these things, or thought them at least? There are a great many promises and precepts of God in the Bible. He lays out the moral and spiritual cause and effect pretty succinctly for us. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Knock and the door will be opened. Forgive and you will be forgiven. These are statements in the Bible. We have heard them since childhood. The problem is that we know but we don’t really act like we believe it.

For example, I know that if I put God first and set my mind on him, I will have an inner peace in spite of whatever is going on around me. Because of this, I will be a nicer person, less hostile, less defensive, harder to offend, kinder, more patient, more like Christ. But, I get “distracted”, entertain negative ideas in my head, criticize people and institutions instead of praying for them; I complain, argue, stew over past hurts, get jealous, feel rejected, abandoned, etc. It tends to snowball. So by 9 a.m. I am all worked up and my intention to put God first in my mind is back somewhere in the dust of my train wreck of “doing things my way”. My way stinks. It’s even in the Bible.

“I WAS [ready to be] inquired of by those who asked not; I was [ready to be] found by those who sought Me not. I said, Here I am, here I am [says I AM] to a nation [Israel] that has not called on My name. [Exod. 3:14; Isa. 58:9.] I have spread out My hands all the day long to a rebellious people, who walk in a way that is not good, after their own thoughts–A people who provoke Me to My face continually, sacrificing [to idols] in gardens and burning incense upon bricks [instead of at God’s prescribed altar]; Who sit among the graves [trying to talk with the dead] and lodge among the secret places [or caves where familiar spirits were thought to dwell]; who eat swine’s flesh, and the broth of abominable and loathsome things is in their vessels; Who say, Keep to yourself; do not come near me, for I am set apart from you [and lest I sanctify you]! These are smoke in My nostrils, a fire that burns all the day. Behold, it is written before Me: I will not keep silence but will repay; yes, I will repay into their bosom.” ~ Isaiah 65:1-6
When it comes to people, I find it so hard to remember how much bigger God is than it all, yes, even than the seriously difficult people and circumstances in my life. We all have them, we may even BE them (we can be honest, it’s just friends here).  When I dredge up old hurts or things from people’s pasts, I’m engaging in a fruitless exercise. Much as I might wish otherwise, there IS no time travel. I cannot go back and call anyone into account. I do not have the ability or the authority. Would I want someone dredging up my past? Um, no thank you please. When I try to figure it out or “self-help, positive think” my way to a better, happier life, it’s like all those people so many years ago who tried to get advice from the dead or sacrifice to idols. Self is a massive idol, after all, so big we fail to see it many times. When I “distract” myself, it’s not by accident. I’m actually just acting out what I believe, deep down: I know better than God. The point I want to make though, in relation to blowing things off is this: when we make statements like the ones above about things being impossible, we call into question the very character and nature of God. If we deem the hard hardheartedness of someone as greater than the love of God, then we haven’t grasped yet that God is not only a God of power and love, but of reconciliation.
“Therefore if any person is [in-grafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come! But all things are from God, Who through Jesus Christ reconciled us to Himself [received us into favor, brought us into harmony with Himself] and gave to us the ministry of reconciliation [that by word and deed we might aim to bring others into harmony with Him]. It was God [personally present] in Christ, reconciling and restoring the world to favor with Himself, not counting up and holding against [men] their trespasses [but cancelling them], and committing to us the message of reconciliation (of the restoration to favor). So we are Christ’s ambassadors, God making His appeal as it were through us. We [as Christ’s personal representatives] beg you for His sake to lay hold of the divine favor [now offered you] and be reconciled to God. For our sake He made Christ [virtually] to be sin Who knew no sin, so that in and through Him we might become [endued with, viewed as being in, and examples of] the righteousness of God [what we ought to be, approved and acceptable and in right relationship with Him, by His goodness].” ~
2 Corinthians 5:17-21
So basically, after we get a good mind-scrubbing, we are left with this: God is the Creator. He makes things, and he makes things NEW. When we choose to look at people through the lens of their past, or our past, we discount God’s role as Creator and re-Creator. He doesn’t just patch us up. He is in the process of restoring us to the amazing purpose he had at the very beginning of things. Because I am being made new, I can trust that God has been working, is working, and will be working in the people and situations around me, just as he is working in me. When I have this firmly set in my mind, I can have peace knowing that God’s good plan includes some painful scrubbing of all the scrapes I’ve acquired, the diseases and infections that have set in on the inside of my spirit. Sometimes people can be a mirror. Nothing bugs a gossip like a gossip, or a know-it-all like another know-it-all. (That hurt a little for me too.) When I am able to keep myself from judging the inside of someone, which I cannot see, I allow God to show me some pretty amazing things like grace and mercy, peace and truth. God, after all, CAN see our insides. Many times when we see a stubborn, black lump, he sees a diamond in the rough, just waiting to be revealed. Moreover, when we give God his proper place it frees us from a lot of responsibility to “fix”, aka stew and fume and criticize (we are so clueless sometimes, aren’t we?).
An awful lot of expense (ie the suffering of Christ) has gone into God being available to us, because of us turning our backs on him in the first place. Ever generous, ever gracious, he has prepared a vast banquet for us, to share in his goodness, the majesty of his bounteous love and plain awe-inspiring self. Stop thinking of the burnt porridge and look at the table in front of you!
“Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].” ~ Philippians 4:6-8

Living Your Life As You Like It?


“Before complaining that you are a slave to another, be sure that you are not a slave to self. Look within;…You will find there, perchance, slavish thoughts, slavish desires, and in your daily life and conduct slavish habits. Conquer these; cease to be a slave to self, and no man will have the power to enslave you.” – James Allen 

I recently read an article that made me change my mind….several times while I was reading it. This particular article advocated the life approach where one stops trying to live to please others and get approval from them SOOOO much, stop making excuses, stop apologizing, stop explaining, stop feeling that your life needs justification. Yeah, I thought. People pleasing never makes anyone happy. Your life is YOURS, after all. End of story, goodbye, see you later, right? Well, not so fast.

Perhaps we do not owe an explanation to every one of a dozen busybodies who seem oh so genuinely concerned when they ask about the reason little Johnny or Susie can’t attend their child’s slumber party. Maybe your kid doesn’t like them, or has a stomach bug, or is (GASP) grounded for being a less than lovely person themselves. Maybe you decide to have yet another baby, or quit your job, or go on a date with “them”, or go back to school, or take a self-defense class, or anything. Eyebrows may rise as the questions are asked. Well, so what? You don’t have to go into details. You don’t owe your life’s ambitions and dreams and details to anyone who crosses your path. Maybe they should, I don’t know, live their OWN lives for a change?

BUT, that doesn’t mean that we can blithely walk along with zero accountability, zero consequences, and zero fault. We have been sold the lie of do what you want with zero guilt for too many years by advertising companies selling us everything from divorce attorneys to whole grain bread. We cannot fall so easily for that line. There are always consequences. Our lives affect the people around us. Our choices have a ripple effect whether that seems comfortable to us or not. Of course we would all like to go merrily along without a care swinging our lunch pail as we skip down the road. This, however, is the attitude of children. Sooner or later, if we want to have our adult ambitions to come to fruition, we MUST grow up. Maturity means being OK with not always getting your way. Mature people understand that there are times when hard work is done and patience is exercised in order to make things happen for the better. We can’t just turn up our noses and tell everyone “none of your beeswax”; but we CAN, and should, set limits on the access others have to our life’s information. Some things should be off limits, like your or your spouse’s salary, whether or not you plan on having more children, medical issues, relationship concerns, etc.

I would like to add another accountability partner we all have, like it or not. (Deep breath I’m about to dig myself a BIG hole.) At the end of our lives, we will individually answer for our choices as we stand before God. Jesus told his disciples that the only way to God was through him, aka faith in Christ. I have recently been struggling with my long-held concept of what following Christ actually means. I always think I have things all figured out until I live a little longer and go through stuff. It isn’t so much that I have lost faith in God so much as I have lost faith in myself to be up to the task. I have been a follower of Christ for many years now and there are days when I think I am farther away than ever. Thankfully, God’s arms are always reaching, very stretchy, and they never let me go. I have never been and will never be abandoned by Him, not once. People walk away and stop caring and get jealous and force you out of your job or your comfy spot in the family or whatever else you may place too much confidence in keeping you happy. God does not change. He has the very highest plans for us, plans of abundant grace and joy and peace, soul-thriving, difference-making, lovely lives indeed. Why do we get that scrunchy leave-me-alone pout on so many times as we look over our shoulder at God like he’s some big meany who wants to just control us and tell us how to play with all of our toys? God is the BOSS. He doesn’t rant and rave about it. He gives people a lot of free rein. Many have a problem with that about others. Why do other people do so many evil things? Why does God allow other people to do bad things? Now wait a second here Folks, I have done some bad things, and yet I have never once had a set of holy handcuffs slapped on my wrists, have you? We ALL do bad things and also have the ability to choose to do good things. Why is it that we blame God for people misusing what was meant to be an amazing gift to every son or daughter that ever walked or is walking or will walk the earth?

We have all had bad bosses. No one wants to be under the thumb of someone who berates you, puts you down or micromanages you. The stories from work weary employees about their difficult bosses are many. Any mistreatment from a person makes you cringe at the thought of anyone else ever being in that position over you again. God, however, is not an abusive and insensitive employer. God is not an abusive parent or cheating spouse. He will never love you “if…”. He loves you, period. He also wants all of us to have the very best life that we can have. This includes not mistreating others or taking them for granted. Make good choices, because it matters, because it affects others as well as yourself, because you have eyes on you from above. Remember you are watched, not because God wants you under control, but because he loves you.

“Therefore, whether we are at home [on earth away from Him] or away from home [and with Him], we are constantly ambitious and strive earnestly to be pleasing to Him. For we must all appear and be revealed as we are before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive [his pay] according to what he has done in the body, whether good or evil [considering what his purpose and motive have been, and what he has achieved, been busy with, and given himself and his attention to accomplishing]. Therefore, being conscious of fearing the Lord with respect and reverence, we seek to win people over [to persuade them]. But what sort of persons we are is plainly recognized and thoroughly understood by God, and I hope that it is plainly recognized and thoroughly understood also by your consciences (your inborn discernment). We are not commending ourselves to you again, but we are providing you with an occasion and incentive to be [rightfully] proud of us, so that you may have a reply for those who pride themselves on surface appearances [on the virtues they only appear to have], although their heart is devoid of them. For if we are beside ourselves [mad, as some say], it is for God and concerns Him; if we are in our right mind, it is for your benefit, For the love of Christ controls and urges and impels us, because we are of the opinion and conviction that [if] One died for all, then all died; And He died for all, so that all those who live might live no longer to and for themselves, but to and for Him Who died and was raised again for their sake. Consequently, from now on we estimate and regard no one from a [purely] human point of view [in terms of natural standards of value]. [No] even though we once did estimate Christ from a human viewpoint and as a man, yet now [we have such knowledge of Him that] we know Him no longer [in terms of the flesh]. Therefore if any person is [in-grafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come! But all things are from God, Who through Jesus Christ reconciled us to Himself [received us into favor, brought us into harmony with Himself] and gave to us the ministry of reconciliation [that by word and deed we might aim to bring others into harmony with Him]. It was God [personally present] in Christ, reconciling and restoring the world to favor with Himself, not counting up and holding against [men] their trespasses [but cancelling them], and committing to us the message of reconciliation (of the restoration to favor). So we are Christ’s ambassadors, God making His appeal as it were through us. We [as Christ’s personal representatives] beg you for His sake to lay hold of the divine favor [now offered you] and be reconciled to God.  For our sake He made Christ [virtually] to be sin Who knew no sin, so that in and through Him we might become [endued with, viewed as being in, and examples of] the righteousness of God [what we ought to be, approved and acceptable and in right relationship with Him, by His goodness].”  – Corinthians 5:9-21