Come Up Higher!


“That old law about ‘an eye for an eye’ leaves everybody blind. The time is always right to do the right thing.” ~ Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

The world we live in today is an angry world, not just a little miffed, but seething, boiling-over, raging ANGRY. It is, of course, perfectly natural to feel this way. Facebook, life’s microcosm, has seen many “Me Too” posts recently. For anyone who doesn’t know, this is a movement to bring awareness to the threat of gender-based violence and intimidation faced by the women and girls of the world in general, and to remind us that all around us, every day, there are women who feel unsafe. There is a global epidemic of forced labor and sex trafficking, for adults and children. What else are we faced with socially and personally on a daily basis but domestic violence, rising healthcare costs, greedy corporations, unethical treatment of employees, thieves, liars, cheaters, swindlers, pretenders, violence, hatred, anger, anger, anger!

I was angry as well when I started writing this post. Some things, after all, are just WRONG. However, “Me Too” should be the beginning of a discussion, not just an angry, raised fist.

An old Newsboys song says, “Everybody needs somebody to rely on….are you gonna lend a hand and assist? Everybody needs somebody’s shoulder to cry on…..are you gonna lend a hand, or a fist?” 

The real struggle, after all, is not men against women, black against white, rich against poor, cat people against dog people, left against right, not really. We all have much more in common than we sometimes care to remember. The ultimate puppet master and behind-the-scenes enemy of all of us is evil incarnate, or the devil, Satan, whatever you call him. He is a master manipulator and gold-star pot-stirrer, and we all fall for his games from time to time. For instance, when I’m angry after reading of a family devastated, or a crime committed, I am usually angry with people. This encourages me to have an “us versus them” or even “me versus everybody else” mentality. That kind of thinking is what feeds the mafia, gang warfare, and a Hatfield’s vs. McCoy’s ideology. When both sides are bleeding and wounded, who really wins? When the smoke clears, you may find yourself looking, not at an enemy, but at a mirror instead. We all get hurt, but we do not have to be the ones doing the hurting.

So, me too, I have been hurt by others, AND I have hurt others. The only hands I can control are on the end of my own arms. The words I have come out of my own mouth. SO, I can be angry with “them” or you, but if I look at MYSELF, I can make the changes that the world needs to be a better place, for “them”, you, and me too.

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them. For truly I tell you, until heaven and earth disappear, not the smallest letter, not the least stroke of a pen, will by any means disappear from the Law until everything is accomplished. Therefore anyone who sets aside one of the least of these commands and teaches others accordingly will be called least in the kingdom of heaven, but whoever practices and teaches these commands will be called great in the kingdom of heaven. For I tell you that unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees and the teachers of the law, you will certainly not enter the kingdom of heaven.” ~ Matthew 5:13-20 NIV
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King of All the Wild Things


“And the wild things roared their terrible roars and gnashed their terrible teeth and rolled their terrible eyes and showed their terrible claws.”
― Maurice Sendak, Where the Wild Things Are

WILD! He is a wild thing. God is King of all the Wild Things, King of Kings and Lord of Lords! This can be a little scary for some people. I have worried, in the past that this Wild God might make crazy demands on me, like sending me to Africa to starve as a missionary or into the depths of the deepest, darkest scariest places of the world, or asking that I forgive a friend or family member who’s hurt me…

“Can you pull in Leviathan with a fishhook or tie down its tongue with a rope? Can you put a cord through its nose or pierce its jaw with a hook? Will it keep begging you for mercy? Will it speak to you with gentle words? Will it make an agreement with you for you to take it as your slave for life? Can you make a pet of it like a bird or put it on a leash for the young women in your house? Will traders barter for it? Will they divide it up among the merchants? Can you fill its hide with harpoons or its head with fishing spears? If you lay a hand on it, you will remember the struggle and never do it again! Any hope of subduing it is false; the mere sight of it is overpowering. No one is fierce enough to rouse it. Who then is able to stand against me? Who has a claim against me that I must pay? Everything under heaven belongs to me.” ~ Job 41:1-11 NIV
He is WILD! How can mere humans stand before him? How can we even lift our eyes to Him who sits on the Throne of Thrones? How can anyone hope to have a “relationship” with such a fearsome and dreadful being as God? It’s easy to read parts of the Old Testament and see a vengeful, vindictive Zeus-like judge and not a Lover, Creator, or Savior. Where is the mercy? Where is the compassion? Where is the love? His demands are impossible! His being is unapproachable! Even the idea of an all-knowing, all-powerful God is frightening and overwhelming!
“’When Israel was a child, I loved him,and out of Egypt I called my son. But the more they were called, the more they went away from me.They sacrificed to the Baals and they burned incense to images. It was I who taught Ephraim to walk, taking them by the arms; but they did not realize it was I who healed them. I led them with cords of human kindness, with ties of love. To them I was like one who lifts a little child to the cheek, and I bent down to feed them. Will they not return to Egypt and will not Assyria rule over them because they refuse to repent? A sword will flash in their cities; it will devour their false prophets and put an end to their plans. My people are determined to turn from me. Even though they call me God Most High, I will by no means exalt them. How can I give you up, Ephraim? How can I hand you over, Israel? How can I treat you like Admah? How can I make you like Zeboyim? My heart is changed within me; all my compassion is aroused. I will not carry out my fierce anger, nor will I devastate Ephraim again. For I am God, and not a man— the Holy One among you. I will not come against their cities. They will follow the Lordhe will roar like a lion. When he roars, his children will come trembling from the west. They will come from Egypt, trembling like sparrows, from Assyria, fluttering like doves. I will settle them in their homes,’ declares the Lord.” ~ Hosea 11:1-11 NIV
It seems that God, like the rest of us, is a complex, and unique personality, who needs time and dialog to get to know, as are each of us. 🙂 I have personally found that the more I learn, the more I see there is to learn, like reaching the elusive horizon in a ship, there is always further to go, more to explore. The majesty and grandeur of God should instill a sense of wonder and awe in us. However, he is not coldly majestic like an iceberg, or distant like the reaches of space, spangled and studded with the starry host. God is kindly and merciful to us, exemplified and condensed once and for all in the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Christ is the missing piece of the puzzle, the lens which makes the mystery of God become a bit clearer.
With our perspective updated, in the light of His greatness, our struggles and pain do not have to spell our doom. Likewise, through the lens of Christ, we can trust and depend on Him. The fearsome wildness of the Creator is tempered by the Gift of the Son. Through this Gift, we ALL have a Father. By this love, we have all become His children.
“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but people loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that their deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what they have done has been done in the sight of God.” ~ John 3:16-21 NIV

Are You Blowing Off More Than Steam?


Start by doing what’s necessary; then do what’s possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible.” ~ St. Francis of Assisi

“Impossible! That will never work for me! I could try that, but it would never make a difference! You don’t know my situation. You don’t know my wife. You don’t know my husband. You don’t know my sister, boss, brother, mother, father, friend, neighbor, co-worker……” Have you ever said these things, or thought them at least? There are a great many promises and precepts of God in the Bible. He lays out the moral and spiritual cause and effect pretty succinctly for us. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Knock and the door will be opened. Forgive and you will be forgiven. These are statements in the Bible. We have heard them since childhood. The problem is that we know but we don’t really act like we believe it.

For example, I know that if I put God first and set my mind on him, I will have an inner peace in spite of whatever is going on around me. Because of this, I will be a nicer person, less hostile, less defensive, harder to offend, kinder, more patient, more like Christ. But, I get “distracted”, entertain negative ideas in my head, criticize people and institutions instead of praying for them; I complain, argue, stew over past hurts, get jealous, feel rejected, abandoned, etc. It tends to snowball. So by 9 a.m. I am all worked up and my intention to put God first in my mind is back somewhere in the dust of my train wreck of “doing things my way”. My way stinks. It’s even in the Bible.

“I WAS [ready to be] inquired of by those who asked not; I was [ready to be] found by those who sought Me not. I said, Here I am, here I am [says I AM] to a nation [Israel] that has not called on My name. [Exod. 3:14; Isa. 58:9.] I have spread out My hands all the day long to a rebellious people, who walk in a way that is not good, after their own thoughts–A people who provoke Me to My face continually, sacrificing [to idols] in gardens and burning incense upon bricks [instead of at God’s prescribed altar]; Who sit among the graves [trying to talk with the dead] and lodge among the secret places [or caves where familiar spirits were thought to dwell]; who eat swine’s flesh, and the broth of abominable and loathsome things is in their vessels; Who say, Keep to yourself; do not come near me, for I am set apart from you [and lest I sanctify you]! These are smoke in My nostrils, a fire that burns all the day. Behold, it is written before Me: I will not keep silence but will repay; yes, I will repay into their bosom.” ~ Isaiah 65:1-6
When it comes to people, I find it so hard to remember how much bigger God is than it all, yes, even than the seriously difficult people and circumstances in my life. We all have them, we may even BE them (we can be honest, it’s just friends here).  When I dredge up old hurts or things from people’s pasts, I’m engaging in a fruitless exercise. Much as I might wish otherwise, there IS no time travel. I cannot go back and call anyone into account. I do not have the ability or the authority. Would I want someone dredging up my past? Um, no thank you please. When I try to figure it out or “self-help, positive think” my way to a better, happier life, it’s like all those people so many years ago who tried to get advice from the dead or sacrifice to idols. Self is a massive idol, after all, so big we fail to see it many times. When I “distract” myself, it’s not by accident. I’m actually just acting out what I believe, deep down: I know better than God. The point I want to make though, in relation to blowing things off is this: when we make statements like the ones above about things being impossible, we call into question the very character and nature of God. If we deem the hard hardheartedness of someone as greater than the love of God, then we haven’t grasped yet that God is not only a God of power and love, but of reconciliation.
“Therefore if any person is [in-grafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come! But all things are from God, Who through Jesus Christ reconciled us to Himself [received us into favor, brought us into harmony with Himself] and gave to us the ministry of reconciliation [that by word and deed we might aim to bring others into harmony with Him]. It was God [personally present] in Christ, reconciling and restoring the world to favor with Himself, not counting up and holding against [men] their trespasses [but cancelling them], and committing to us the message of reconciliation (of the restoration to favor). So we are Christ’s ambassadors, God making His appeal as it were through us. We [as Christ’s personal representatives] beg you for His sake to lay hold of the divine favor [now offered you] and be reconciled to God. For our sake He made Christ [virtually] to be sin Who knew no sin, so that in and through Him we might become [endued with, viewed as being in, and examples of] the righteousness of God [what we ought to be, approved and acceptable and in right relationship with Him, by His goodness].” ~
2 Corinthians 5:17-21
So basically, after we get a good mind-scrubbing, we are left with this: God is the Creator. He makes things, and he makes things NEW. When we choose to look at people through the lens of their past, or our past, we discount God’s role as Creator and re-Creator. He doesn’t just patch us up. He is in the process of restoring us to the amazing purpose he had at the very beginning of things. Because I am being made new, I can trust that God has been working, is working, and will be working in the people and situations around me, just as he is working in me. When I have this firmly set in my mind, I can have peace knowing that God’s good plan includes some painful scrubbing of all the scrapes I’ve acquired, the diseases and infections that have set in on the inside of my spirit. Sometimes people can be a mirror. Nothing bugs a gossip like a gossip, or a know-it-all like another know-it-all. (That hurt a little for me too.) When I am able to keep myself from judging the inside of someone, which I cannot see, I allow God to show me some pretty amazing things like grace and mercy, peace and truth. God, after all, CAN see our insides. Many times when we see a stubborn, black lump, he sees a diamond in the rough, just waiting to be revealed. Moreover, when we give God his proper place it frees us from a lot of responsibility to “fix”, aka stew and fume and criticize (we are so clueless sometimes, aren’t we?).
An awful lot of expense (ie the suffering of Christ) has gone into God being available to us, because of us turning our backs on him in the first place. Ever generous, ever gracious, he has prepared a vast banquet for us, to share in his goodness, the majesty of his bounteous love and plain awe-inspiring self. Stop thinking of the burnt porridge and look at the table in front of you!
“Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. For the rest, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things [fix your minds on them].” ~ Philippians 4:6-8

The Drawbacks of Being a Hippo


“Arrogance diminishes wisdom”
Arabian Proverb

When I was very young, my family used to visit a restaurant in San Francisco called The Hippopotamus, or Hippo. It was an amazing place, boasting a large array of hamburgers as well as a lit sparkler in the center of the bun and a whole crew of singing wait staff on your birthday. Awesome, right? Sadly, this restaurant no longer exists. (You can, however, read a bit more about it here: Remembering the Hippo)

As amazing as I thought going to The Hippo was when I was little, being called a hippo is not something I would put on my top ten goals, probably the same can be said of you as well. Why is this? Besides the common Western phobia of fat on the body, is the fact that in spite of cartoons and coloring book pages which suggest otherwise, hippos are really nasty, dangerous, territorial, lazy, gluttonous, and bad-tempered. As much as we might try to deny it, this does actually describe us all from time to time. It’s not anything we should aspire to be of course.

Another “character trait” of hippos I have observed (I am CRAZY over those nature shows) is their tendency toward arrogance. Now, hear me out before you start citing behavioral studies. If you are as big and mean as a hippo, you probably deserve a fairly wide berth. (What’s that joke about the 300 lb gorilla?) A hippo in the wild is large and in charge, no doubt. Not many other animals will tangle with them. Did you ever notice the HUGE mouth on a hippo?!? *CHOMP*

Unfortunately, if we will be brutally honest, many people, Christians at the top of the list a good majority of the time I’m afraid, could be characterized as hippos. Very full of ourselves and our “knowledge” of an un-knowable God and self-important, in spite of our actual status as the sinful, unworthy, ridiculous specks we are. (Don’t get me started on the inane amount of arguing we do among ourselves over silly doctrinal differences, while the world hurts, and suffers, and rages, and weeps all around us.)

Notwithstanding our majesty and wonder as creations of intent and divine purpose, the wonder, majesty, intent, and purpose are not our own. With the limited, imperfect knowledge we have of an infinite, and perfect God, we sure pat ourselves on the back a whole lot. Why is that again? Maybe we are getting a little too big for our britches. Maybe our self-conceit needs to diminish a bit while we remember the reason we celebrate Easter Sunday is NOT so we can parade around like arrogant runway models in our pastel finery. Maybe, while we smile fondly at our amazing offspring as they club one another over the head for eggs, we might pause and reflect.

Jesus Christ came to earth as a squalling infant and grew up in this chaotic place only to die on a cross, horribly; because even in our Easter finery, we are wretched and lost souls in desperate need of sanctification. Pretending we are anything other than that is pointless. My continued walk as a Christian, and yours, depends on the continued realization of our need of Christ, not only for our initial salvation, but for our every day’s grace to think and act like a considerate, loving human beings. A hippo-like, prideful attitude tends to make us believe we are better than other people who are different than us and leads to gossip, exclusivism, cliques, bullying, and so forth; and, yes, I AM still mainly talking to Christians. This type of arrogance has no place in the body (aka the Bride) of Christ.

More than all of these reasons, God himself has warned us repeatedly against such full-of-ourselves attitudes, in His Word. (Proverbs 6:16-19; Proverbs 16:18; Proverbs 13:10, etc.) One of the most convicting (and by convicting, I mean reminding, encouraging, and exhorting) of these is the passage below:

“On that day when, as my Gospel proclaims, God by Jesus Christ will judge men in regard to the things which they conceal (their hidden thoughts). [Eccl. 12:14.]
 But if you bear the name of Jew and rely upon the Law and pride yourselves in God and your relationship to Him,
And know and understand His will and discerningly approve the better things and have a sense of what is vital, because you are instructed by the Law;
And if you are confident that you [yourself] are a guide to the blind, a light to those who are in darkness, and [that
You are] a corrector of the foolish, a teacher of the childish, having in the Law the embodiment of knowledge and truth–
Well then, you who teach others, do you not teach yourself? While you teach against stealing, do you steal (take what does not really belong to you)?
You who say not to commit adultery, do you commit adultery [are you unchaste in action or in thought]? You who abhor and loathe idols, do you rob temples [do you appropriate to your own use what is consecrated to God, thus robbing the sanctuary and doing sacrilege]?
You who boast in the Law, do you dishonor God by breaking the Law [by stealthily infringing upon or carelessly neglecting or openly breaking it]?
For, as it is written, The name of God is maligned and blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you! [The words to this effect are from your own Scriptures.] [Isa. 52:5; Ezek. 36:20.]” Romans 2:16-24

Beloved, fellow, imperfect brothers and sisters in Christ, he has so much more in store for us in this life. In order to realize the ultimate goal of his bountiful richness and completeness flowing through us to bless others first, and ourselves as a byproduct, we must take our eyes off of ourselves and put them back on the ultimate prize, which is the fullness and richness and completeness of Christ Jesus himself.

“For God has not called us to impurity but to consecration [to dedicate ourselves to the most thorough purity].
Therefore whoever disregards (sets aside and rejects this) disregards not man but God, Whose [very] Spirit [Whom] He gives to you is holy (chaste, pure).
But concerning brotherly love [for all other Christians], you have no need to have anyone write you, for you yourselves have been [personally] taught by God to love one another.
And indeed you already are [extending and displaying your love] to all the brethren throughout Macedonia. But we beseech and earnestly exhort you, brethren, that you excel [in this matter] more and more,
To make it your ambition and definitely endeavor to live quietly and peacefully, to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we charged you,
So that you may bear yourselves becomingly and be correct and honorable and command the respect of the outside world, being dependent on nobody [self-supporting] and having need of nothing.” 1 Thessalonians 4:7-12

Welcome to the Crucible


“Truth, like gold, is to be obtained not by its growth, but by washing away from it all that is not gold.” ~ Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy

Today’s blog post is brought to you by the letters A and U and also by the number 14 (carats, that is). Now think GOLD. The way that gold is refined, or purified is a process with many steps.

First of all, you obviously want to start with gold, if you want refined gold. You can’t start with dirt or tuna fish or koi ponds or strawberry Pop Tarts. Only gold can be used if you want refined gold. That’s Step 1. Step 2: Place in the crucible. The gold has to be in the right place, or environment, in order for the refining to take place. This involves location, materials and timing. Step 3: add heat………serious HEAT. First you will need to add some boric acid. Now heat, more acid, followed by more heat, and so on…Keep doing this until the gold is completely melted, however long that takes. Step 4: the gold will need to be handled very carefully as it is poured into the mold. It’s really hot. It can hurt anyone who gets too close. Step 5: the gold must cool completely before being taken from the mold so that it will hold its shape. (http://www.wikihow.com/Melt-Gold)

I think that in life, pain, like everything else, is all a matter of how you are willing to look at it, the perspective you choose, the lens you use when you consider things and situations and even people that come your way. Let me clarify, we all have a certain bent when it comes to the way we see things. I’m talking about pain, and you will need to use a little extra effort here.

First of all, for the purposes of our discussion, you and I are the gold. In order to be refined, we must first have some intrinsic value already. You can’t clean dirt, or rot. You just get rid of it. Refining is a process that takes time, attention, and care. The goal at the end is to have the thing of value be of even greater value. In order to be refined, there must already be value of some kind, there must be some redeemable qualities in order for something to be redeemed. Redemption comes when we are found, refining happens when we are perfected. It is always unpleasant. We feel unsure, unsteady, unclear why this is happening now, this way, for this length of time. We often feel misused, misunderstood, and we see no end in sight. Sometimes we break down under the strain of what is happening to us…like when we lose our tempers and yell at our kids, our spouses, say things we don’t mean, quit our jobs without notice, give up on the dream, drop out of school, tell someone off….like in traffic, using technicolor language that would make grandma yank our ears.

I often feel that parenting is a kind of crucible. Multiple times a day you are faced with the choice of acting selfishly….or even out of self-preservation, and you are given the choice, me or them, now or the future, pay now or pay later. Sometimes, either way you choose it feels like you lose. There are so many of these knuckle-baring, teeth-gritting moments along the way as we raise our kids it sometimes makes us very poor company for anyone else, like our co-workers, friends, church family, spouses, or basically anyone who doesn’t want to hear the run-down on Little Miss or Misters’s last bowel movement. (I love a good pun, and that sentence had to awful ones. 🙂 )

I have wondered many times over the years about the much debated and hotly refuted portions of the Bible that talk about women, some of them more than others, like the submission to your husband part and the part about childbearing as in the increased pain (thanks a lot Eve), and about how women will be saved through childbearing (1 Timothy 2:15) HUH????? Are you kidding me? This on top of submission? God, you ask too much.

But, wanting to actually understand, I thought about it in the context of what the passage talks about, which was a situation in which families were fragmented and the child rearing was not being carried out by loving parents at home. Similar to today, women and men were sold out to the idea of “finding themselves” and such. As is the case today, as the parents “found themselves” the children got lost in the shuffle. This passage is calling Christian women to lay down their selfish desires and give themselves to their children, their tender little babies, who really needed them. Babies aren’t babies forever, of course. This is not an admonishment for Christian women to stay barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen and never learn to read. Kids need their parents. Period. That made sense to me. I do tend to get my back up a little when someone tells me to do something (which, at 37, my mom is still doing). Even when someone tells me to do something sensible or gives good advice, I tend to bristle a little bit. People with knowledge don’t like to be taught, and yet it is against reason as well as wisdom to be this way. So there is a little insight into a long-time struggle for me today. 🙂 Love you Mom. 🙂

Of course as I am now actually in the middle of parenting, another thought occurs to me: childbearing and rearing works out something else in us. I have long held the belief that no one, simply no one, can make me more red haze, can’t-speak-correctly, vein-I-didn’t-know-I-had-pulsing, calling-my-kids-everyone’s-name-but-theirs angry, NO ONE but kids. Thankfully, I love my kids, I mostly love kids in general, it’s just when I get out in specific situations with specific kids…again…that I find my “nice lady” seams tearing a bit. Childrearing holds your feet to the fire. It’s easy enough to say you love children when you have none of your own, and of course know better than all those sleep-deprived, cranky individuals who, unbeknownst to you, are telling their child “no” not for the 5th time as they ask for a treat, but the 56th, in less than 5 minutes, and you just let that comment about “controlling your children” slip only slightly loud enough as you passed their shopping cart containing a car seat, and the entire wardrobe of the child who has been screaming. ALL. THE. WAY. THOUGH. THE.  STORE. That poor soul is just trying to make it to the checkout with a couple of gallons of milk and some semblance of dignity and self-control and is being fought every step of the way. There are the times when the fun money you had set aside is used instead on shoes for Little Miss or Mister who you realized with a guilty pang was wearing shoes 3 sizes too small. No, you will not be buying new shoes for work or lunch with the gang this week. You can kiss that concert goodbye because you had to stay home with a kid (or kids) who all got head lice, so of course you are now a pariah anyway and now you couldn’t afford to go even if the darn little buggers didn’t keep showing up on head after head. (Calgon take me away!) *pause for psychosomatic head itching, sorry*

Another hard thing about parenting these sweet babies is that you have to tell them many many times to do something, or not too. I have had crayon on my walls for years, or pencil or pen, or (GASP) even marker. I have made rules and punished and explained and taken things away, and yelled and screamed and panicked, and yet, I still have crayon, etc. on my walls. Discipline is not a popular thing in our country currently. We do not like to tell ourselves no and we do not like to say it to our kids. It’s uncomfortable to wait or do without, so instead of earning good behavior or a well-deserved reward, we cave to the pressure of a tantrum or whining and find peace for a time…..until the next time, and the next, and the next. Discipline is hard work and you actually have to remember what the point was in the first place. I’m not really a fan of the strict cry it out philosophy of sleep training. However, I have never been a fan of being held hostage in my own bed by a baby, either. Nor am I a fan of Cruella DeVille in my house the next day screeching at my kids and husband. There has to be a balance in everything we do. (1 Peter 5:8)

So, as far as a crucible is concerned, there are times when I think I must be in the fire with the acid being added. Being a parent is an overwhelming undertaking, both for the good, sweet, tender, and joyous moments it brings as well as for all the pain and tears and frustration and heartache. I think, though, that as with anything else, God works in seasons in our lives. There are times when I have been put through life’s ringer whether it be a difficult relationship in my extended family, or drama at work, or health issues I worry about for my loved ones, or the tires that keep going flat on my minivan at the most aggravating and inconvenient times, naturally.

After really difficult seasons, I feel a little worn and tender. I’m a bit more sensitive and easily hurt. I need some time to process and heal. Those times are like the cooling process of gold. I want to come out of these times bearing the form of my Savior. I fail though at other times, and I know that it’s only so long before I am yet again being put through the crucible again.  BUT, as we are to find our balanced stances in life, so God has things well in hand. When we go through these sanctifying seasons, He knows when to ease things and we will never go through alone. 🙂

“PETER, AN apostle (a special messenger) of Jesus Christ, [writing] to the elect exiles of the dispersion scattered (sowed) abroad in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, [aka YOU] Who were chosen and foreknown by God the Father and consecrated (sanctified, made holy) by the Spirit to be obedient to Jesus Christ (the Messiah) and to be sprinkled with [His] blood: May grace (spiritual blessing) and peace be given you in increasing abundance [that spiritual peace to be realized in and through Christ, freedom from fears, agitating passions, and moral conflicts]. Praised (honored, blessed) be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah)! By His boundless mercy we have been born again to an ever-living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, [Born anew] into an inheritance which is beyond the reach of change and decay [imperishable], unsullied and unfading, reserved in heaven for you, Who are being guarded (garrisoned) by God’s power through [your] faith [till you fully inherit that final] salvation that is ready to be revealed [for you] in the last time. [You should] be exceedingly glad on this account, though now for a little while you may be distressed by trials and suffer temptations, So that [the genuineness] of your faith may be tested, [your faith] which is infinitely more precious than the perishable gold which is tested and purified by fire. [This proving of your faith is intended] to redound to [your] praise and glory and honor when Jesus Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One) is revealed. Without having seen Him, you love Him; though you do not [even] now see Him, you believe in Him and exult and thrill with inexpressible and glorious (triumphant, heavenly) joy. [At the same time] you receive the result (outcome, consummation) of your faith, the salvation of your souls. The prophets, who prophesied of the grace (divine blessing) which was intended for you, searched and inquired earnestly about this salvation. They sought [to find out] to whom or when this was to come which the Spirit of Christ working within them was indicating when He predicted the sufferings of Christ and the glories that should follow [them]. It was then disclosed to them that the services they were rendering were not meant for themselves and their period of time, but for you. [It is these very] things which have now already been made known plainly to you by those who preached the good news (the Gospel) to you by the [same] Holy Spirit sent from heaven. Into these things [the very] angels long to look! So brace up your minds; be sober (circumspect, morally alert); set your hope wholly and unchangeably on the grace (divine favor) that is coming to you when Jesus Christ (the Messiah) is revealed. [Live] as children of obedience [to God]; do not conform yourselves to the evil desires [that governed you] in your former ignorance [when you did not know the requirements of the Gospel]. But as the One Who called you is holy, you yourselves also be holy in all your conduct and manner of living. For it is written, You shall be holy, for I am holy. [Lev. 11:44, 45.] And if you call upon Him as [your] Father Who judges each one impartially according to what he does, [then] you should conduct yourselves with true reverence throughout the time of your temporary residence [on the earth, whether long or short]. You must know (recognize) that you were redeemed (ransomed) from the useless (fruitless) way of living inherited by tradition from [your] forefathers, not with corruptible things [such as] silver and gold, But [you were purchased] with the precious blood of Christ (the Messiah), like that of a [sacrificial] lamb without blemish or spot. It is true that He was chosen and foreordained (destined and foreknown for it) before the foundation of the world, but He was brought out to public view (made manifest) in these last days (at the end of the times) for the sake of you. Through Him you believe in (adhere to, rely on) God, Who raised Him up from the dead and gave Him honor and glory, so that your faith and hope are [centered and rest] in God. Since by your obedience to the Truth through the [Holy ] Spirit you have purified your hearts for the sincere affection of the brethren, [see that you] love one another fervently from a pure heart. You have been regenerated (born again), not from a mortal origin (seed, sperm), but from one that is immortal by the ever living and lasting Word of God. For all flesh (mankind) is like grass, and all its glory (honor) like [the] flower of grass. The grass withers and the flower drops off, But the Word of the Lord (divine instruction, the Gospel) endures forever. And this Word is the good news which was preached to you. [Isa. 40:6-9.]” 1Peter 1 Entire Chapter, Amplified

How to NOT Shine Your Light


“The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company… a church… a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past… we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you… we are in charge of our Attitudes.”
Charles R. Swindoll

Attitude, attitude, attitude!! You guessed it. It’s ALL about attitude, yours and mine.

So lately I have been dealing (read that NOT dealing) with a terrible attitude myself. Mr. Wonderful now works nights. My mind wants to wait up for him. The 1 yr old has been teething and I am slowly, slooooowly trying to wean her. My school-aged kids wake up early and begin their morning clumping-through-the-house-like-circus-elephants routine. My 3 yr old is very mischievous and can-NOT be left alone. He finds things to nibble, and color with and on, and knock over, etc, etc. I also watch a little boy M-F and he arrives around 7:45 in the morning. I cannot usually sleep in. I cannot usually coordinate nap time so I can nap, although Heaven help me I am trying! Fact: I end up staying up too late to outlast my kids and the baby who needs a quiet room to actually stay asleep, and I have MUCHO interrupted sleep at all times of the night. Laying there fuming is not conducive to sleep as I try to get comfortable sans noise, and yep, when I DO finally start to fall asleep, that’s when the baby wakes up crying, Mr. Wonderful’s truck rumbles into the driveway, the kids get up for school, the 3yr old begins stomping up and down the hallway, there is a knock at the door, yadda-yadda. Fact: all of this adds up to make me a less-than-lovely, un-shiny, desperate, grumpy, snarky, impatient, schnickelfritz. Mr. T. a.k.a. B.A. Baracus. Yep, I AM that man……or woman. Anyway, moving right along. 

When I was looking up a passage on attitude for this post, I found a story about King Solomon. (You know, like the Mines? Kidding. Solomon, as in David and Bathsheba’s second son, Richie Rich in Biblical times, wise as…lots of wives, yeah, that one.) He and God had this agreement that basically went: Solomon honors God ONLY and puts a stop to worshiping other gods which were really leading the population into doing some bad things, like human sacrifice, etc. In return for Solomon’s exclusivity, God would bless him and his lineage and establish his kingdom, like He had promised David. Long story short…..Solomon flubbed it. He decided he was just going to go ahead and do his own thing (back to his insane, polygamous obsession for marrying, and marrying, and marrying…More on the company we keep and how it can ruin our character later.)

“Although he had forbidden Solomon to follow other gods, Solomon did not keep the Lord’s command. So the Lord said to Solomon, ‘Since this is your attitude and you have not kept my covenant and my decrees, which I commanded you, I will most certainly tear the kingdom away from you and give it to one of your subordinates. Nevertheless, for the sake of David your father, I will not do it during your lifetime. I will tear it out of the hand of your son. Yet I will not tear the whole kingdom from him, but will give him one tribe for the sake of David my servant and for the sake of Jerusalem, which I have chosen.’ ” 1 Kings 11:-13

A bad attitude can really ruin a good thing. Solomon should have known better, just like the rest of us when we decide to do it our way and reap the  less-than-lovely, un-shiny, desperate, grumpy, snarky, impatient, schnickelfritz consequences. You can bet your sweet Aunt Bippy that this kind of life is NOT what God intends for any of us, either. When we get an attitude, He wants to give us more of Him, so that the amazingness that is God, fills us up so much that there is no room for the junk that makes us (and everyone around us) so very unhappy. All that is left is Him, and we become the person He intended us to be all along:

“blameless and guileless, innocent and uncontaminated, children of God without blemish (faultless, unrebukable) in the midst of a crooked and wicked generation [spiritually perverted and perverse], among whom you are seen as bright lights (stars or beacons shining out clearly) in the [dark] world.” Philippians 2:15 Amplified

Focusing my mind to actually think about my attitude and the effects of it on those around me, most notably the 3 tiny ones who can’t do anything to stop me and are at my mercy. When my attitude is horrible, they suffer. Then hubby wakes up and he suffers. My kids get home, the phone rings, I get a text from my mom, etc….a bad attitude will lead to consequences that just snowball. It’s time to STOP THE MADNESS already! Here is what God says about our attitude:

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2 NIV

“For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Then you will call upon Me, and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear and heed you. Then you will seek Me, inquire for, and require Me [as a vital necessity] and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29:11-13 Amplified
“Assuming that you have really heard Him and been taught by Him, as [all] Truth is in Jesus [embodied and personified in Him], Strip yourselves of your former nature [put off and discard your old unrenewed self] which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts and desires that spring from delusion; And be constantly renewed in the spirit of your mind [having a fresh mental and spiritual attitude], And put on the new nature (the regenerate self) created in God’s image, [Godlike] in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore, rejecting all falsity and being done now with it, let everyone express the truth with his neighbor, for we are all parts of one body and members one of another. [Zech. 8:16.] When angry, do not sin; do not ever let your wrath (your exasperation, your fury or indignation) last until the sun goes down. Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him]. Let the thief steal no more, but rather let him be industrious, making an honest living with his own hands, so that he may be able to give to those in need. Let no foul or polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it.” Ephesians 4:21-29 Amplified
“A scoffer seeks Wisdom in vain [for his very attitude blinds and deafens him to it], but knowledge is easy to him who [being teachable] understands. Go from the presence of a foolish and self-confident man, for you will not find knowledge on his lips. The Wisdom [godly Wisdom, which is comprehensive insight into the ways and purposes of God] of the prudent is to understand his way, but the folly of [self-confident] fools is to deceive. Fools make a mock of sin and sin mocks the fools [who are its victims; a sin offering made by them only mocks them, bringing them disappointment and disfavor], but among the upright there is the favor of God. [Prov. 10:23.]” Proverbs 4:6-9 Amplified

Keeping your eyes on the prize is essential. Do you want to just wake up one day and find that 50 years have gone by and you are still as lonely, impatient, selfish, touchy, unforgiving, gossipy, and unhappy as you always have been? To make the needful and difficult changes to be a more whole and sound and actually beneficial to others human being, you are going to have to dig in and work for it, and so will I.

If you have read only this post, or even if you are a follower, you will hopefully understand that this is not a “mommy blog”. There is a need and a place for those, definitely; but I hope to relate to you as a human being first. I am flawed and ridiculous and vain and selfish and small. I also know Jesus, who is none of those things, and I need him DESPERATELY to not only bring me out of a funk or make me pleasant to be around; but to help me to reach my ULTIMATE life goal, which is to be like Him and help others to know him. There are enormous obstacles in the way of that, but Jesus Christ is more than enough, for you and for me.

 “IF THEN you have been raised with Christ [to a new life, thus sharing His resurrection from the dead], aim at and seek the [rich, eternal treasures] that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. [Ps. 110:1.] And set your minds and keep them set on what is above (the higher things), not on the things that are on the earth. For [as far as this world is concerned] you have died, and your [new, real] life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, Who is our life, appears, then you also will appear with Him in [the splendor of His] glory.” Colossians 3:1-4

Return of the Old Man


“You can clutch the past so tightly to your chest that it leaves your arms too full to embrace the present.” ~ Jan Glidewell

Picture yourself walking alone on a beautiful Wednesday late afternoon. You’re walking along the road, when you pass a graveyard. You maybe think about the souls whose mortal husks lie beneath the ground, or how their lives were like or different from yours or the people that miss them. You walk on down the road and the graveyard is soon out of view. The sun goes down behind the hills and your path darkens. As you pass through the branches of closely growing trees, you hear a sound behind you. You turn and see someone else walking down the road in your direction. Nice night for a stroll, you think, as you turn around and continue your walk. A branch lashes across your face and the air is turning chilly. You glance behind you and notice the pedestrian is closer. Wow, a power walker, you say to yourself, as you zip your jacket up a bit more and pick up your pace to make it home by dark. Gradually, you hear the approach of hurried footsteps. This time you turn and find yourself face to face with the rotten flesh and reeking death-stench of a zombie!!

Freshly turned dirt covers their clothes and the creature’s hands are scratched and bleeding from their fight to rise from the grave. It turns its face toward you with sightless eyes, looking not at you but through you. Bracing yourself for an attack, you hold up your arms and eye the nearby scenery for something with which to defend yourself. The creature stands still, as if waiting for you…..as if summoned by you. Upon further examination, this dumbly-blinking monstrosity has some familiar characteristics.  Dripping with mud and debris, wearing sodden and rotting grave clothes, this horrible being clutches in its hands the remnants of a life long gone. A startling realization dawns on you that this creature actually resembles you! That’s right, Ladies and Gentlemen, you’ve come face to face with the “Old Man”.

Your bad habits, your failings, your slip-ups, your pride, your wounds, your betrayals, your lies, your shame, and your wretched, wretched sin…..everything that you never wanted to remember about yourself, everything that makes you want to hide, all this and more you see plastered from sole to crown on the thing that stands before you. Like a creature from the trash heap, everything in front of you is something you wish you could throw away, you have thrown away. Why then does this thing stand before you with vacant eyes, drawn like a magnet to your side, like the vomit that the dog left, refusing to be left behind.

“Be with me. Let me stay with you. Love me. Excuse me. Pity me”…the Old Man seems to say. “This is who you are. You cannot escape from me. We are one forever.”

Before today, you may have succumbed. Before now you may have sighed and accepted what you believed to be inevitable and resignedly taking the hand of this putrid maggot fest you would have allowed you to lead you back to the graveyard, to defeat, to your past. Today, however, you have made a decision which has loosed the hold that you could not have previously broken, filled your lungs with the fresh air of hope, and put the starry light of love in your eyes. Today you met the Lover of your soul and He has set you free.

Today, for the first time ever, you are able to calmly turn your back on your past as it stands there silently beckoning, and continue on the path set before you, making it home in plenty of time for dinner. Today a new pattern has emerged. Now when you glimpse the sad-eyed, un-dead thing looking in at your happiness and fried chicken, you can simply close the curtains. If you’re feeling aggressive, you can even run it off. Occasionally, you will notice it shambling through an open door in your heart, not wasting any time as it tries to set up its own living space. Again, all you have to do is notice (it always give themselves away with its smell of death and misery) and firmly kick it out. Sometimes it is possible to be so overwhelmed by the grief and pain and toil of this life that you will be shocked to find one day this unwelcome creature has made itself at home and has been camping out once more. However, you have all the authority now to kick this interloper right out on its tombstone! It doesn’t belong with you any more. You were made for life!

“Are you ignorant of the fact that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? We were buried therefore with Him by the baptism into death, so that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious [power] of the Father, so we too might [habitually] live and behave in newness of life. For if we have become one with Him by sharing a death like His, we shall also be [one with Him in sharing] His resurrection [by a new life lived for God]. We know that our old (unrenewed) self was nailed to the cross with Him in order that [our] body [which is the instrument] of sin might be made ineffective and inactive for evil, that we might no longer be the slaves of sin. For when a man dies, he is freed (loosed, delivered) from [the power of] sin [among men]. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with Him, Because we know that Christ (the Anointed One), being once raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has power over Him. For by the death He died, He died to sin [ending His relation to it] once for all; and the life that He lives, He is living to God [in unbroken fellowship with Him]. Even so consider yourselves also dead to sin and your relation to it broken, but alive to God [living in unbroken fellowship with Him] in Christ Jesus. Let not sin therefore rule as king in your mortal (short-lived, perishable) bodies, to make you yield to its cravings and be subject to its lusts and evil passions. Do not continue offering or yielding your bodily members [and faculties] to sin as instruments (tools) of wickedness. But offer and yield yourselves to God as though you have been raised from the dead to [perpetual] life, and your bodily members [and faculties] to God, presenting them as implements of righteousness. For sin shall not [any longer] exert dominion over you, since now you are not under Law [as slaves], but under grace [as subjects of God’s favor and mercy].” Romans 6:3-14 (Amplified version)

The Velveteen Equation (Part 3): Return of the Gingerbread Man


“Never cease loving a person, and never give up hope for him, for even the prodigal son who had fallen most low, could still be saved; the bitterest enemy and also he who was your friend could again be your friend; love that has grown cold can kindle”  Soren Kierkegaard

Spoiled, rotten brat! You think you can get whatever you want, and when you don’t get your way you throw a fit, make a scene, and run away……..yes, Mr. Gingerbread Man, I’m talking about you! Not content to fulfill your purpose as a son, brother, and friend, you run off into the wide world, where everywhere you turn something is waiting to eat you alive. You taunt and mock and think that you’ll always be fastest, you’ll always be free to play your games. Back at home, your mother misses you; but you never think about her, do you? You never think about anyone BUT yourself, you sorry excuse for a cookie.

In a lot of ways, the story of the Runaway Gingerbread Man reminds me of the parable of the Prodigal Son. A young man with everything decides it’s just not enough for him and leaves, but not without first disrespecting his father with his very own version of the Gingerbread Man’s “neener neener neener”. Many of us have been a prodigal in one way or another. We may never know the pain and grief we’ve caused our loved ones when we set off on our journey to “find ourselves”, or whatever you want to call it. It’s not that all such journeys are entirely selfish or wrong, but many times it is easy for us to justify the wrong things for the wrong reasons at the wrong times. The prodigal in the parable would have eventually inherited his portion, in due time, as a beloved son and cherished member of the family; but, impatient for “his rights” and not recognizing the value of what he had already been given, he took what he could get, ran away, and then made a BIG mess!

He didn’t realize it at first. None of us realize it when we’re in the middle of  “making our own decisions”, decisions that would be better labelled “another fine mess”. It takes us all awhile to realize that the sound in our ears is not applause, but jeering; the smell in our nostrils is not the perfume of success, but the stench of something else. IT happens, but it does us no good to surround ourselves with heaping piles of it in the name of individuality, now does it? OK, moving right along…..

The Prodigal Son’s story had a happy, unexpected ending. He experiences completely undeserved open-armed, open-hearted forgiveness and acceptance from the father he had wronged (as well as a supremely jealous older brother, but that is a topic for another blog post). The father in the story represents the desire of God to fully reconcile us to himself, no matter how filthy, dirty, ick-poo our lives have been previously. The message of this story is: there is room on the cross for your past, present, and even future screw-ups. The Father loves you more than he is saddened by your sin. You will never smell too much like pig for him to reach out to you.

Mr. Gingerbread Man’s story, however, has a somewhat sadder ending, as do the stories of many prodigals who stubbornly stick to their guns. He ends up being the lunch of a crafty fox, who was all too willing to take advantage of such a tasty, gullible, and foolish morsel. Let their stories be a lesson to you. Don’t be consumed by the world and its users and abusers. Run into the arms of the Father. He has been waiting for you long enough already.

Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them.

 “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
 “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to his father.
“But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
 “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’
 “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate.
 “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’
 “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’

 “ ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ ”

Hidden Surprises Along the Way


“When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.”- Bernard Bailey

Surprise can be a funny thing. People often say that they like surprises, love them even. The truth is, there is really no way to know what “it” is, until it’s too late. A wrapped present is intriguing to us. It represents possibilities, hopes, dreams, things longed for. Not all surprise packages contain things we enjoy, however. Who hasn’t received a gift from someone that didn’t quite “get” you?

[Disclaimer: Dear Person, you will know who you are. Please don’t be offended. I know your heart is as big as all outdoors. I am sure I have given my share of unexpected gifts as well. I still love you. :)]  I once received a Pepto-Bismol pink Snuggie. It looked for all the world like a thneed, straight out of the pages of Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax. At the time, I thought it was an odd gift. However, I know the individual who gave it intended it like a warm hug which would enable me to watch movies and snuggle my kids in greater comfort. (A very thoughtful thing indeed.) The appearance of the gift may have been unexpected. The thought behind it, however, was full of love.

Many of the “surprise packages” we receive during our lives can be mixed blessings; confusing, bewildering, frightening, and unexpected in the extreme. We may look at these surprises and wonder why this particular situation came our way. We may feel angry, jealous, rejected, abandoned and hurt. If we aren’t careful, however, we can miss the message behind the gift. Long periods of waiting can make us feel forgotten or unloved. Perhaps we should try to look past the details of the season we face and realize that patience can be a great ally, especially as we work toward our goals and dreams, many of which will require much patience, forbearance and tenacity on our parts. If we cannot learn to exercise patience while we wait for basic things, how will we ever be able to withstand the more difficult trials of life? Patience has a lot in common with hard work, which is another necessary thing for us to exercise as we grow in order to be able to handle the manifestation of our hopes and dreams. The easy-peasy, sit-back-and-watch-the-clouds-roll-by life does not accomplish anything. Sooner or later, you have to get up and do something, or you will see opportunities pass you by, along with the clouds.

Like Bilbo Baggins, we can use our fear of the unknown and distaste for anything that interrupts our status-quo, predictable comforts as an excuse to stay safe, and the same (which is the same thing as stunted), forever. We might daydream of things being new and different and exciting, but the reality is just too much work. Enter: Surprise Package A! As we open it, we find a CHALLENGE to our character and a BIG QUESTION MARK. What will become of our dashing hero now? Will they rise to the occasion, or turn tail and run? Will they fall in the trap, or skillfully avoid it? We know them now, but who will they become when it’s all said and done? Who will ANY of us become?? It all depends on how we handle surprises.

“So I say, let the Holy Spirit guide your lives. Then you won’t be doing what your sinful nature craves. The sinful nature wants to do evil, which is just the opposite of what the Spirit wants. And the Spirit gives us desires that are the opposite of what the sinful nature desires. These two forces are constantly fighting each other, so you are not free to carry out your good intentions. But when you are directed by the Spirit, you are not under obligation to the law of Moses. When you follow the desires of your sinful nature, the results are very clear: sexual immorality, impurity, lustful pleasures, idolatry, sorcery, hostility, quarreling, jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish ambition, dissension, division, envy, drunkenness, wild parties, and other sins like these. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God. But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! Those who belong to Christ Jesus have nailed the passions and desires of their sinful nature to his cross and crucified them there. Since we are living by the Spirit, let us follow the Spirit’s leading in every part of our lives. Let us not become conceited, or provoke one another, or be jealous of one another.”  Galatians 5:16-26

When the Past Comes to Call…


“All our experience with history should teach us, when we look back, how badly human wisdom is betrayed when it relies on itself”

Martin Luther (German Priest and Scholar whose questioning of certain church practices led to the Protestant Reformation. 1483-1546)

Henry loved Dora very much. He couldn’t wait to be with her and every minute apart was filled with him thinking about her. When he slept, he dreamed of her face. One day, Henry learns that Dora has “a past”. They were in a garden when she told him. Henry heard a faint “hiss”, and slowly the green snake of jealousy sunk its teeth into his heart. Reacting to the venom, he felt queasy and his face grew hot. He was heartbroken. His perfect angel now seemed tarnished. How could he continue to love a woman with “a past” and marry her??

The story above is completely made up. (My apologies to any real life couples bearing the names of Henry and Dora.) In the age in which we live, it is not uncommon for people to have many life experiences before settling down. This includes relationships and all that follows them. As difficult as these things can be when faced knowingly from the beginning, they can be fatal to the bonds of trust when they spring up, unannounced somewhere down the path of the future. What we have to remember is that the past is gone. It cannot be re-done or undone. Think of the many things in your past that you would change if you had the chance. When you think of your own past, you might remember that you no longer live there.

So Henry is now faced with a choice. He can let his hurt and wounded pride fester. He can stew in it and let it grow bigger and bigger until he is almost convinced that Dora ‘s former experiences are current experiences that she can’t wait to throw in his face! He may feel that their romance was a lie, based on an understanding between him and a person who is not who he thought she was. He can choose to end the romance and walk away from this woman who has become his life. He can even conveniently forget about the fact that he has his own past and hold his beloved Dora at a distance, until both of their hearts are broken and they lose the something very rare and precious that they have found in one another…

OR…

He can remember the many, many things he would rather he had never done and said, many of them, truthfully, MUCH more shocking and horrible than the simple fact of Dora’s loving someone else, however unwisely. He can see Dora in the new light of the present and the wisdom she has gained from her failings. He can realize that Dora is his beloved and she is with him, not because she has to be, but because she chooses to be. He can further realize that holding Dora’s past against her is like digging up graves  to call the bones to account.

There are times when we come to a fork in the road and our choices right then decide our futures. There may be someone, or more than one, whose past you find hard to accept. Maybe they have spent time behind bars, or in bars, or strip clubs, or as strippers, or prostitutes, or drug addicts, or stalkers, or murderers, thieves, liars, cheats, abusers, the list goes on. Perhaps they have hurt you, or someone you love. Perhaps you are holding their past up as a shield to keep from dealing with them. Perhaps you think you are better than them, even though you would never admit it. This is a slippery road to travel, my friend. I can tell you this from experience. The problem is that when we hold other people to a certain standard, we become responsible to live up to that standard as well. We accuse others and excuse ourselves.

The truth is, however, we have all been forgiven MUCH that we can never repay. We can never make restitution for our own pasts, why do we demand this from others? The truth is, yes, you and I have things in our pasts that we may regret, they may shame us, and they may have hurt us. The people around us share similar experiences of regret, shame, and pain as well. When we hold things over people’s heads, we only add to their hurts and stand as roadblocks to them having a different future, with us included that is.

So, you may be wondering, what did Henry do? Did he walk away from Dora, or did he look at his own past, and hold on tight to her hand? What would you have done? What path do you choose?

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant

 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

 “Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold  was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

 “At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

 “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.

 “His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’

 “But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

 “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

 “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Matthew 18 : 21-35